The Freedom of an Alcohol-Free Bar
I felt like my energy and awareness were free to expand into the entire room. No fear. No constriction. And yet, I was sitting at a bar counter. In a bar.
It was a pre-preview night at Suckerpunch, the new alcohol-free popup bar opening this month in the Goat Blocks (inner SE Portland).
I was there with my husband, who is more into NA drinks than the other kind, and one of the My Sober Girlfriends community members. The new bartenders were getting practice making the alcohol-free cocktails they’ll be serving as part of their prix fixe when they open this month.
As I sat in anticipation of my drink, I scanned my body to identify what I noticed.
It was freedom.
When I got home a few hours later, cheeks hurting from smiling so much, I reflected on my expansive somatic experience at Suckerpunch. This was a new sensation in a bar!
What I realized, is that when I’ve been around people who are impaired by alcohol and/or drugs, I felt constricted and tight. Maybe not as free to breathe.
I now identify it as fear.
It isn’t that I’m afraid of being tempted to drink, because I’m not. I love being sober. The constriction in my body is a learned response from decades of being around drunk people… including myself.
Not only have I been in serious physical danger in the past, but there’s all the boundary breaking, misinterpretations leading to aggression (“What is that supposed to mean?!!”), breaking confidences, reckless risk-taking, and on and on.
I don’t know where they are in terms of their impairment–
What social filters have they lost?
What parts of their own discernment are numbed?
Can they even see straight?
What has their tunnel vision fixated on?
How do they interpret me?
I’ve learned that I need to have my guard up.
In the past, the solution was to numb my discomfort and constriction by getting drunk myself, and then everything would be fine.
But as we both know, that isn’t fine.
Last night at Suckerpunch, the first drinks arrived to our audible expressions of delight. My joy bubbled up as I gazed at the beautiful presentation of our glasses.
There was nothing to fear, only to enjoy.
The rise and fall of natural conversation and pleasant laughter bounced around the room as I took my first delicious sip.
I felt like someone truly cared about my holistic human experience. Someone wanted me to feel like I mattered. I sat at a beautiful bar counter with warm wood, in a room with big plants and other fully present humans. The drinks were sophisticated, layered, and fun. They were for me to savor, but not to get me drunk.
This was my first experience in an alcohol-free bar, and it was amazing.
Suckerpunch is where you can experience what it’s like to truly relax and socialize, instead of relying on something to numb.
I know Suckerpunch will be a popular spot, a hub of activity for those living a more conscious life in the Portland area. Owner Andy McMillan told me that after they’ve had a chance to get their wheels rolling, they are looking forward to hosting different kinds of events, from karaoke to trivia, to maybe even a singles night??? He’s open to collaborating with me, and the My Sober Girlfriends community, and I can’t wait to see what comes of it all!
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Last night I was able to bring one guest from the community. Because she’s participated in events over the last few months, it felt very comfortable, fun, and easy to hang out with her.
I’m considering closing the doors again for a bit, and reopening them when it gets closer to spring at a higher monthly fee, so if you’ve been on the fence, I’d recommend joining now, so you can lock in the $15/month rate!
As the group is still getting going, I am still offering 1:1 calls to answer questions about the community, which you can sign up for here. I’d love to meet you!
Maybe your first time experiencing freedom at Suckerpunch will be with your new sober gang!
xo
Your Sober Girlfriend,
Naomi Veak