Emotions Need Space, Too
Hi friend!
I'm checking in to see-- How are you doing this week?
How are you right now?
Remember-- just because we know we're programmed to expect the holidays to look and feel an unrealistic way, doesn’t mean we aren’t still unconsciously affected by it!
So what emotions are actually present for you?
Excitement, anxiety, anticipation, frustration, loneliness... all of the above, depends on which minute you are asking? :)
One of the emotions I want to name that may not feel welcome during the holidays is grief. And yet, it may be present.
Your loss could be of a loved one who has died, is no longer in your life for another reason, or is still in your life but no longer themselves (maybe from addiction or dementia). You could be grieving other losses in your life, like an identity you used to have.
If you are feeling this, I see you.
What I’ve learned the hard way, is that we have to give space to our feelings for them to process. It's taken me time to trust that I can do that, and not drown!
But I’m learning that by giving them space when needed, that is exactly what keeps them from being too much.
How do I give my emotions space?
By taking walks, cooking or cleaning without any noise or other distractions, watching movies that activate tears if that’s what’s needed. Journaling, humming, stretching, taking baths without reading a book or listening to anything, often with just candlelight. Telling someone what I’m feeling. Sitting silently on the couch and watching the wind move the trees outside my window.
On the flip side, when I’m experiencing joy, excitement, tenderness, I those feelings plenty of space as well! I make up silly songs, dance, move my body to express my emotions, and laugh a lot.
Maybe when you have a moment to yourself this week– in the car, preparing dinner, getting ready in the morning– instead of turning on the radio, TV, or podcast, you could see what comes into your awareness in the quiet. What arises in your consciousness? What does your body want to do to move emotions through?
Whatever it is you are feeling now, in the next five minutes, and in the next few days, I hope you can find ways to give space to your emotions so they can flow through.
After all, as sober folks, we have an incredible opportunity to feel our human emotions on a whole 'nother level! Being a human is painful, joyful, peaceful, and... let's be honest... sometimes tedious.
If you are looking for ways to nourish yourself this week, I have a couple things I'd love to let you know about:
My friend Irene Bailey, who has led forest bathing walks for My Sober Girlfriends, is offering a Winter Ceremony (online) tomorrow -- Wednesday, December 22nd -- along with her co-facilitator Misako Yamamoto. You can register for her offering here. I am attending as a participant, so if you attend be sure to say hi!
This article is about emotions, but Byron Katie (a sober woman) who is a spiritual mentor, speaker, and author helps with ruminating thoughts. I first heard her on Oprah’s SuperSoul Conversations podcast in my first year sober. Incredibly, Byron Katie currently offers coaching sessions to the public using her method that she calls The Work. I’ve learned so much about myself watching her coach other people. You can register to attend these powerful live sessions here: https://thework.com/.
If you have other ways you process emotion, if you have strong emotions coming up this week that you'd like to share, or have other resources you'd like to suggest, tell me about them!