Banish Your Doubts About Connecting Over Zoom
note: all names have been changed
When we first met over Zoom, Linda was newly sober. And this weekend, I finally met her in real life.
Our initial Zoom meeting was back in August, when she signed up for the 21 Day Gratitude Challenge. Linda jumped right in with the weekly check-ins and writing prompts, and when that was over, began attending the weekly My Sober Girlfriends events.
At one point Linda warned me that she might come across as shy, but that when you get to know her she’s a little silly. A few months later I found out that she likes to dance around the house to the Go-Go’s. She’s a print artist, a fangirl for printmaker Corita Kent, has a collection of vintage dresses, and until recently, thought that the song of the varied thrush around her house was a car alarm going off.
Have I mentioned that I JUST met her for the first time face-to-face?
A few weeks ago, one of the members of My Sober Girlfriends posted in our online community that Oaks Park Roller Skating Rink was opening up again here in Portland. She asked: Who wants to go roller skating? A handful of us got tickets before they sold out, and it was on! Roller skating group date on a rainy Saturday night.
When I walked in, I easily spotted Linda a few feet in front of me. I recognized her style by the beanie she was wearing. “Linda! Hiiiii!” I yelled. She waved and waited for me to make my way up to the skate counter.
Was it weird? Not really! I’ve seen this lady almost every week since August!
Then others appeared at the door. Katie, the scientist/artist who has been practicing her roller skating tricks during the pandemic. SG, the writer/Marketing VP who had to leave her super cute canine sidekick at home. Alison., who just had a big presentation at work that went pretty well, and loves lifting weights and hiking. Georgia, an artist who lives in a tiny house and loves plants.
Since we were all wearing masks, I made sure everyone knew who the others were-- and there we all were. We were a real group of friends, meeting up to have fun together. Sober girlfriends. We were living the dream.
None of us had to try to figure out how to get to know each other with our masks on-- we know each other. We will also recognize each other later, because we’ve seen each other’s entire faces on Zoom.
So why are so many people resistant to the idea of connecting over Zoom?
I have a theory, do you want to hear it?
I don’t think they’ve been on the right Zoom calls.
If you think about it, what is the purpose of most other calls? To give and get information. To inform. To teach. Sometimes to entertain. We have those too-- those are the workshops. If all we did was workshops, I wouldn’t know these ladies.
Our Zoom calls are specifically designed FOR CONNECTION, and that’s why we know each other. As the facilitator, I don’t even participate in the breakout sessions, and I still feel as comfortable, if not MORE comfortable with these women then I do with friends that I’ve known for years.
As we were changing back into our street shoes, Linda remarked that it was her first nighttime outing as a sober person. We gave a little cheer, and chimed in about how great it is to not worry about drinking and driving, monitoring how much we drank before we came, thinking about drinking when we got back home. How lucky we are to be sober.
And then we made our way out into the night, to go our own ways, feeling happy and connected, knowing that we would see each other again soon… on Zoom…
If you’d like to connect over Zoom and make some new sober friends, join us over at https://my-sober-girlfriends.mn.co/. We’re ready to make your dreams of a sober squad come true.